Jokes?

Nearly every time Drew leaves on a trip, which is quite often, I get told the same joke.  This joke is told by people from the neighborhood when they see my walking Ginger alone in the evenings.  The men always say something to the effect of:

"Gosh, Drew has a great job, he gets to travel all the time and see lots of different things!"

To which I reply:

"Yes.  Drew really enjoys seeing all the different people and places here in Bolivia, it is a beautiful country,"

To which I am most often responded by:

"Yeah, he must have a girl in every department (state) now!  You had better keep a close eye on him Ann!"

By the time I get over the shock of what they have just told me (and yes, I find it shocking every time), I never know how to respond.  Up until now, I have given a deadpan look, and not responded at all, while they laugh and reassure me it's only a joke.  That is the problem, it is a joke, but not a funny one.  And, it is a joke that is a reality for far too many women here in Bolivia.  It is a given in this place that men that don't stay in one place have multiple families or women.  Even if they do stay in the same city, I have known men that juggle multiple women and families, and they know about each other too!

Machismo is a nasty thing.  And as much as it reflects on the ideal "male identity" in this culture, it also reflects on the way that women have allowed this to go on for far too long.  Maybe you think I am being harsh.  In no way am I solely blaming women for the ideals of machismo lived out in Latin America, but I am saying that they have a part to play in bringing it to an end.

As a female living in Latin America, I feel very vulnerable.  I can't walk down to the corner store without getting a whistle or vulgar shout out.  I have been told the best response is to ignore it and not give it any attention.  But sometimes I wonder if by ignoring it or just by giving deadpan stares, we are allowing it to persist, like this joke that comes back to me every time Drew travels.  How depressing that must be to grow up here being told that your duty in life is to "endure" the comments and extremely oppressive expectations places upon you simply for your gender, but feel like you are unable to do anything to change the way you are treated?  What if we turn the humiliation back onto the men and speak out about how demeaning their comments are to us?  What would happen if I spoke my mind to the men that call out to me every day as I walk to work?  What if we spoke out against the machismo ideals instead of ignoring it?  Honestly, I have never seen it done before.  I don't know how they would react.  I will challenge myself to say something the next time that joke is made around me....which might be soon, because Drew is on a trip now.