Well things are finally moving along on my project in Capellani, at least from my end of things. I still can't fingure out what's going on from the school's side of things. In fact, I'm beginning to see what it is really like to work for a non-Christian development organization. It seems to me that there are no people here that are really in it because they truly want change or to help people. They are only there to help themselves. Despite all the rhetoric about coming alongside the people and including them in development projects in their community and other great ideas, the way things operate on the ground is still a totally top-down, colonialist approach. The organization decides what projects to do, and the students are out there just to get the information they need so they can write a thesis, graduate, and get out. I mean, if they really wanted the work they were doing to matter, they would turn in their thesis to the school library so others could build on the knowledge they have, but most students skip that step and all the work they do goes to help no one. It is just hard to get people to cooperate or simply to think of others. Sometimes I wonder if my work is the same. Obviously I'm motivated to do this to get my degree, but how can it be more than that? What does my work really mean to these people if I am just going to leave in a few months and never see them again? I know it can have an impact, because my work in Peru almost 4 years ago has done a lot for the people in that community, but is my research just serving my own interest?
Although sometimes I do feel that way (it's hard to be up there working putting everything into it when my wife is back home alone), I think that maybe there is a bigger reason than just doing a thesis that I am there. That's because my educational level or the work that I do does not define me. My relationship with Jesus defines who I am, so I know that I am called to something way bigger than I am. For example, I chose to work on a project that has to do with the church there because I want to get to know the church. And from what I have found, it is not a pretty picture. I can imagine there were a lot of churches like this one in the early church-- just a group of people who sincerely want to follow Jesus, but are extremely mislead. I swear some of these people have been brainwashed or something. It has been a struggle to work with them, but this past week I think there was a small breakthrough. Daniel, one of the church leaders and a man despised by most of the community and by Agruco, and I had a conversation about the Bible (one of many that we have had in the past), but this time he was asking me questions, admitting that he did not understand and wanted help. Now, I have to admit that I do not have all the answers and in fact I know that God can (and has) certainly use these people to teach me as well, but this was the first conversation we had where I felt I could contribute and he trusted my contribution. I decided that I should meet him more often in the mornings to talk more, and bring my Bible, because it is hard to follow him with his Quechua Bible. I know it is not totally relevant to my research, but I can spare an hour in the morning to help milk the goats and talk to Daniel. We'll see where that goes.